Just Jana

There's no one way to do things in life. In fact, there's probablly a million possible solutions to most problems out there depending on who's part of the figuring out committee. Normally, I love it when both sexes are there working on the problem too-because for obvious reasons, we have different strenghts. And of course, there are pros to doing it all female or all male...well, whatever the dilema or competition, it can be fun and insightful.

When your issue is of a more serious nature, ie. marrige, kids, finances or future...coming to joint decisions or conclusions or guidelines can be painstakingly nightmareish...hellish! But, I still think the theory of there being more than one way to come to a happy compromise or agreement exists.

What most people take as mainstream may work for most. But who's to say that what may seem odd to most, may work for those few? Spouses separating to work on their relationship may seem out of the norm for some, but if it is working for them, is it so bad? I realize I've been talking in a "we" form, but really it applies to "I" also. If I was the only one who thought (which I seriously doubt), the way to become the most well-rounded person was too try everything...I think a lot of people would have something to say about it. But, you know what? I don't care. To me, that's what is important. I have my boundaries, and they may be a lot looser than Betty's, or Margaret's or Jane's, but I make decisions based on my experience and what I feel in my gut is the best for me. And yes, I'm not saying I'd make the same choice for little nephew Billy, sister Patty or even friend Grace, but for me. As a human with the power of choice and likewise the power of accountability, all things work out in the end. I don't think it's up to each other to talk about or place judgement on those around us. Unless we truly know everything that has happend in that person's life, how can we ever know why and how they choose to do the things they do? You have your choice, I have mine....really, what's the big deal?

Sorry for sending out an email to view my blog. But i set it to private. and i only let a few of you have permissions to view it. So, i had to officially add you...it automatically sends an email... :P

Wide

Standing there, looking in at him
I am frozen; He’s not the same
Not quite sure; He leaves so quickly
No good-byes; Who is to blame?

Thirty-six or seventy-two
hours, n living on over drive
Barely surviving; getting high
Over the edge; to the grave I dive

Every night I drove myself home
I would pull over to the side
While the engine softly hummed
I’d close my eyes, my mouth was wide…
Wide open
Please listen to my words
You know what’s in my heart
And I know that I am heard

Fire in my soul, my mind awake
Purpose there is, now lots at stake
Family forever; daughter n son
So long for now; life’s what we make!

Every night I drove myself home
I would pull over to the side
While the engine softly hummed
I’d close my eyes, my mouth was wide…
Wide open…
Please listen to my words
You know what’s in my heart
And I know that I am heard


For Mike



*I wrote this for Mike last night. I know I'm not a songwriter and everyone can write poetry, but I thought I'd try to do something I haven't done. So here's the words to a future song. I felt inspired to write this, now I just have to find the right notes...wish me luck!

What happened to flowers, notes, chocolates (ok, not every gals favorite), massages and long strolls in the evening? I'm not ancient, but I do think myself to be a bit old fashioned. I love getting flowers! Daisys, roses, daffodils, tulips and all those other bright but weird named ones...heck, i even love cacti. :) If a note were to fall out of my sunvisor or my guy made me a playlist that reminded me of him or songs he thought I'd like, or yes, even my favorite candybar...that spells special...

But, alas, some guys hand over jewelery, expensive items or wads of cash. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not the most irritating thing that could happen to you-especially on a blue day. LOL. But, there's not much creativity or emotion involved in those transactions. The saying easy come, easy go...well, gone. Like relationships if you don't work at it and fill it with more meaningful expressions of love. There should probably be a healthy balance between the aforementioned.

Okay, so realistically my guy doesn't do the jewelery thing anymore...especially not after loosing numerous expensive braclets in the river (if I put the jewelery on, I leave it there). So, if it's not condusive to the outdoors or to physical activity, I probably won't be wearing it. :) But, I love ya honey for all the money you did spend on me! MUAH!

Proposed Library District.

As a Wilsonville-onian, I want to share my feelings on the current predicament of our library. We have a wonderful, huge, oftenly used and established facility, previously voted to be here, by yes, us. The library is being managed by an amazing guy, Pat Duke, with a very knowledgeable and mostly volunteer staff. But it's forecasted lifespan is looking rather bleak... It's just not when the County's funds cease to to exisit by 2011, its what is happening up until then. Staff will be cut dramatically, exponentially, until then. Summer reading programs, StoryTime, Adult Reading Groups, Tours, a wide array of material (CD's, books on tape, videos, magazines for children, etc), Portland Children's Museum Pass, Teen Advisory Board, Game/Movie Night for Teens, Homework Help for Teens, ESL Program, Technology Programs for Adults and many more programs will all disappear.

We voted to have this educational resource in our community. We have already dedicated and invested time and money, into programs/events that involve and include the library and it's relations to other organzations in our community. It's asking for your continued support. As the Library District Proposal goes on Ballot this November will it have your vote?

http://www.wilsonville.lib.or.us/Index.aspx?page=183

I was reading this month's issue of Women's Health Magazine and came upon an aritcle titled "the next big thing." I was happily surprised and somewhat amazed at where science and technology (or R&D) is taking us in respects to our health. :) The article was giving us a heads up on what new medicines (i use that term loosely) will be coming our way...

Here's a few...

Male birth control: a chemical that supresses the hormone responsible for sperm production. When he stops taking it, sperm comes back. There is also a development of a "temporary vasectomy". The doctor doesn't actually snip the tubes, but implants a clip the pinches it shut...much like an IUD for women. The male pill should come out in 5 years (to be tested still tested on humans), the clip in 1 (there double checking that sperm flows after the clip is removed).

Condomless STD Prevention: A new gel (aka Amphora) coats your vaginal walls, killing STD's on contact but leaves a woman's body's natural bacteria alone. It is also a contraceptive. Up to 12 hours before, it can be inserted on the cervix with a device. Amphora's clinical trials are expected to take two more years. With success, there should be an over-the-counter from the FDA in 2011.
I think this one is way cool.... :)

Female Viagra: A German company has developed flibanserin which reduces serotonin at the receptor in the brain responsible for sexual desire. Sereotonin supresses dopamine which in turn stimulates arousal. By decreasing the serotonin, dopamine can do what us females need it to do! :) The clinical trials should be completed and determined by the end of this year, which means it could be reviewed by the FDA and on the market by late 2009.

Needle-Free Blood Sugar Test: A new contact lens, that also corrects poor vision, contains a photonic crystal that changes color when the glucose level of your tears increases or decreases. You just have to look in mirror to know your blood sugar status. And it also lets you continually monitor it. :) Getting ready for clinical trials, and expected approval could take another 2. 4 years.

For the entire article see Womens' Health July/August 2008, pg 98. Written by Colleen Oakley.
www.womenshealthmag.com

Anyways, thought these were very cool!

Forecast for this Saturday is Sunny 80 degrees! Good thing! Wilsonville Kiwanis is hosting it's fifth annual Kids Fun Run at Memorial Park on Saturday, July 26 starting at 10am. This year their estimating almost 500 kids to be running. It gets better each year!

I was able to volunteer last year and it was an amazing experience to see all those kids participating and have the time of their lives. It was definitely a warm one, but thanks to the many sponsorships and donations from local businessness and services, it was a success. The Tualatin Valley Fire Department sprayed the crowds last year with the fire truck hose, Albertson's donated all the BBQ food and drink (and been a 3 year Major Sponsor for this event), West Coast Bank and Wilsonville Auto Care provided the lanyards and medalions, Jay Puppo of State Farm Insurance (creator of the Fun Run) and of course, Parker Johnstone's Wilsonville Honda (also a 3 year Major Sponsor) played significant roles in the overall excellence of this event. Many thanks to the numerous volunteers that surround the track as each child passed by giving them praise as they make their laps, and finally finished.

This year, much of the advertising has been translated into Spanish. And the registration was made free to all kids. A an exciting first. There will be some new additions to this years festivities including a tent where children will be able to check their health stats, get finger printed, and also a dry inflatable for those not desiring to have their kids get wet! :) Plus, with the fantasic crew planning this year's event (special thanks to 5 Point Media, Nan Scott Design Studio, Portland Reign Photography, Donna Bane, Gary Wappes and Eric Evans of Edward Jones), Kiwanis was able to recieve donations online via the website and paypal. Millions of thanks to the exisiting Major Sponsors and some of the newcomer sponsors; 106.7 K-Hits, and Legacy Meridian Park Hospital. Should be fantastic! See you on the track!

If you want to volunteer, click on the link to sign up!

http://www.kidsfunrun.org/

Every day, our integrity is on the line.

While driving to a client's house in Happy Valley this morning I was listening to 97.1; the Dr. Doug and Skippy (?) show...or something like that. Mind you, I don't listen to radio that often as I prefer my Ipod. Anyways, the topic of discussion was about a guy who was married for 16 years, but had been having an affair (many or one--was not clarified) for the past 9, and had now recently had an epiphany, and wanted to be only with his loving wife and kids. The announcer then asked if he should tell his wife or take it to the grave. Many callers called in and wanted more specifics about the situation...ie. whether his mistress(es) dumped him or he her, etc, the ages of the kids etc. Children of these situations even called in. It was very interesting. I even found myself thinking, he shouldn't tell. Why? Because if he did, I'm betting a 99% of a divorce. But, would that be fair? Fair to his wife and children? If he was truely repentent, he would have to tell her, right? And what ever happens, happens. But, then i felt bad for the wife. She's the one who would be devestated (and of course the children) by the truth of the situation. Then I thought, well is it the same if if had only happen one or two times, as opposed to 9 years? Mind you, that many of the callers (including children of these situations and close relatives) said not to tell. Because it had destroyed their families. They said that if he was truly sorry, and would not do it again and be faithful, to not say anything and that was his burden to bare.

So, after the show ended...and of course they posted a poll on their website, it made me think about where I stood as a person. Not because of the infidelity aspects, but the whole honesty issue. And originally I thought that he should not tell because he was trying to save the marriage. But, then I realized, it didn't matter. He already committed the error. If he truely wanted to make ammends, he would have to tell. And sadly, she would probably leave him. I think that that is the right thing to do...or is it?

Or should we just not get ourselves into these prediciaments in the first place. And when we see ourselves falling, that we go to our loved ones and tell them and get help. I think it's selfish for us to believe that what we do on a daily basis or behind closed doors, does not affect anyone else. Unfortunately, I'm just as guilty.

Wow. Can I say I went to bed thinking about that movie. Dreamt about that movie, and woke up thinking about that movie. Great show. Left an impression on me. Was a dark, heavier type movie. Will have to go online to see how much historical validity there was in the overall plot of the movie. But, I definitely liked it.

I saw Stop Loss a few nights ago and liked that movie too. I'd have to say, that as Americans I feel that we need to step in occasionally and help other countries citizens when it comes to human rights issues. I know we don't have all the facts and often times there are a lot of underlying politics, money and trade issues at hand, but I think we shouldn't wait around for everyone in a country to die before we step in. Notwithstanding, after viewing this movie, and having lived for 14 months in a 3rd world country (and knowing 1st hand how it affected me); I can't help but side with the soldiers who get caught in the mess of being stop lossed. Especially by forcing the the soliders who know that by returning to something so ugly could ruin them (mentally and/or physcially) in the long run or kill them; I'd just have to say, that's effed up!! And I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. They volunteer themselves and then they are forced back into it? How is that remotely fair? If there was a legitamit reason for the war to be going on-a serious reason, maybe like another Hitler tryin to kill off everyone not white...I could see a stop loss. But for oil or something like that? I know I don't have all the information and surrounding facts regarding every war, but I do believe that a lot of innocent people die or our ruined because of the power of a few. And, I do believe that if we put soliders into these types of predicaments and spend oodles and oodles of money on military, then we better gosh darn spend the money to take care of them (mentally/physically) upon there return. They fight our wars, what do we do for them???

My husband and I were talking today. We having been living separately for the last 2 months. But our relationship has been getting closer, and more interpersonal understanding has been exchanged, than in the past 2 years. We didn't separate over scandalous, financial, abusive issues. But issues over core values that have changed in each of us because we have grown apart. We love each other and want to stay together but can't understand how we've come to this reality in our marriage. Unfortuantely, these core issues (such as parenting, wanting kids, religion, ethical boundaries) are issues that are not so easily up for debate sense we each feel so strongly about them. IN the beginning they were the same/more similar, and now not so much. How do you bring them back to the middle? Without sacrificing your individuality or the realationship?